Lunch with Phil

About once a month I have lunch with a very trusted friend named Phil. Professionally, he is a strategy advisor of sorts. To me he is a life coach, a motivator. We talk mostly about me, about how I'm going through this rough patch in life, about how I'm going to overcome some major obstacles to get to a better place. He's Buddhist. He encourages me to follow my heart, rather than material or superficial things. He drew me a Venn diagram the first time we met...to illustrate that I exist in one circle, my ideal career in another, and that intersecting area, that's where I need to be. Lately I've been so caught up in the challenges he's assigned (such as "Try to meet 5 new people every week") and failing miserably. I ignored his email request to meet up this month, until he stubbornly asked a second time. All morning I worried about how I would disappoint him. So I decided to make that the focus of our conversation today. And to my surprise, my honesty paid off. I needed him to know that I've been feeling overwhelmed by all my responsibilities, to the point that I'm at a standstill. We touched on some very painful issues, and we talked about how I can solve them. We role played (he played my dad and I told him the thing that I've been too scared to say: "I still need your support, but you need to back off on my parenting choices"). I cried. He told me he still feels the same pressure, and that his own dad had just passed away...and that he misses him very much. Well, that put a whole different spin on the conversation. And it showed me that this fear never goes away. I left feeling so grateful for the opportunity to be candid. For the chance to open up without performance anxiety or fear of criticism. Everything felt a little more manageable after that.